Tip 13. The Positive Power of Made-up Stories

Made-up stories
Parents and children can learn a lot about fear and how to prevent and manage it by telling real-life or made-up stories themselves. In our family we used to spend a lot of time travelling, and the children would often ask us to tell them a story while we were driving. We used to choose a problem such as lighting fires, stealing or being taken away by a stranger and base a story on it. Sometimes these stories went on and on, with more and more detail. Making up your own stories is a lot of fun, and children really learn by making up possible outcomes for their own or parents' stories. One storyline was about little girls who were clever and silly girls who got into trouble; for example:

The silly girl talked to a stranger in the street and got into his car. She was taken away and badly hurt. The clever girl told the stranger to go to the police station if he wanted directions, and she ran to the nearest safety house.

The silly girl got the matches, lit a fire and burned the house down. The clever girl took the matches from the baby and then told her mother.

Making up your own stories is a lot of fun and children really learn by making up possible outcomes for their own or parents' stories.

Ideas for stories
What stories could you make up? First set the scene, then talk through how children would cope with fear. Give them lots of ideas about practical and imaginary things that they could do.

What would happen if...

· Imagine if you came home one day and found that Mum and Dad weren't in the house?

· What if we had been called away unexpectedly, or what if we had got stuck in traffic after there had been a very bad accident?

· Or what if one of us had broken a leg?

Of course, don't end the story until you have arrived at a positive outcome.

'Annie stories'
Psychologist Doris Brett, in her book of 'Annie Stories', talks about how parents can use stories to help children with fears, and help them deal with traumatic events such as nightmares, a new baby, the first day at kindergarten, divorce, death, pain and going to hospital.

Parents make up a story about a situation very like their own child's. The parent tells a story depicting the child's worry or concern and adds a wonderfully successful twist at the end in which the child overcomes her fear.


Case Study

Ten-year-old Sally had to sing in the school concert. She was terrified. Her mum told her a story, and it went something like this:

Once upon a time there was a little girl called Samantha . (the name used in the story should sound very similar to your child's name) . who lived in a brick house with a red door knob. Samantha slept in a bed with a pink doona on it. Samantha was scared to go in a school concert because she had to sing a song. Samantha didn't know how she would get over her fear at first, but then she came up with a good plan.

She practised her song until she knew it. She sang it in the bathroom, she sang it in the toilet, she sang it in bed at night. She practised until she knew it so well that her brain knew that she would never forget the words. Then she went up on the stage every day, and just stood there and practised it in her mind.

She also got herself a 'magic ring' to wear. She asked if she could wear Mum's special bracelet, which Samantha thought was magic.

When it came time for the concert Samantha jumped up on the stage and sang her song beautifully. She was really happy and proud of herself.

It is easy for parents to do Annie Stories - you already know the plot, you already know the characters - you are only providing a positive new ending.

A variation on the story idea is for the child to tell a sad story, perhaps a true one, and then for the parent to retell the story using the same situation but creating a good solution at the end.

Annie Stories allow children to keep a safe distance from their own fear but still let off steam. The story shows them that they're not the only one; that someone else has felt just as bad. It gives them ideas for coping and gives them closeness and comfort with the parent during the storytelling.